More’ temporarily satisfied (until the next fear driven ‘if only’), the unfulfilled question of ‘why I am’ manifests itself in one or more of the following phrases:
- What next?
- Make a difference
- Meaning (“What’s it all about, Alfie?”)
- Get more (to make a difference)
99% of the time, there is a recycling to ‘more’ (just in case) even if one cannot outlive his money (1) as more has become habituated even with its inherent anxiety and dependence.
More and Moreons are codependent.
The unusual shift from More typically requires a transition (desensitizing of identification with having – flooding, counter conditioning ((pun intended) and operant counter conditioning - have proven ineffective to counter ‘the more-on’ cultural context)). (2)
Without the sequential shaping of desensitization with mutually exclusive behavior reinforcement – there will be no paradigm shift rather a reverse gear shift back to the graveyard shift of more.
A first step which many have found helpful is ‘the permission date.’ (No, this is not about getting to second, third base let alone scoring).
One’s ‘someday things’ rather than being ‘leftovers (when I have the time orphans’) are blocked out weekly for the same time – as if a business appointment. More important, is the permission to not be good at it – these someday things.
Given identification of who I am is so rooted (regardless of cumbaya assertions to the contrary, liberals) in what I do and have (being through having) as who I am, not being immediately or intermediately proficient will kill attempts at the ‘someday things.’
Regular blocking of time and permission to ‘not be good, proficient’ are musts – non negotiable if the swing shift ‘to why I am’ meaning, what next’ is to have a prayer of a chance.
Kadosh (in Hebrew) means holy & separate. And separation is necessary for closeness
Paraphrasing Rabbi Henoch Dov
Now the someday thing trials don’t answer ‘why am I’ but they creates initial distance from the overwhelming identification of who I am from what I do. Additional separation via creation of what one’s mission is and more importantly is not today and projecting 10 years for now, may be created by completing The Personal Prospectus in Enough (by this author) – though the exercise is still heavily towards ‘what one does’ more so than ‘who one is or seeks to be.’ Again this is a recalibration for distance from identification.
A third tool is The Soul Resume© which, in a workbook format – like a job resume, seeks to answer the question, why should one be admitted to The World To Come, Heaven etc.
(Unlike college, there are no legacy nor affirmative action free passes for admission.)
In any case, successive approximation in stages rather than going cold turkey is the process of shape shifting from identification with having & what one does or did to ‘why I am.’
The swing shift – regardless of cumbaya, self esteem psychobabblists and liberal/progressives (least I be redundant) protests to the contrary of their enlightened ‘being’ (a rationalization for taking, having and entitlement) to why I am, accepts one being unfinished & incomplete. One’s assignment (soul curriculum) is continuing to finish these incompletions earning an MFA (master of the fine soul) which doesn’t add to one’s Charles Schwab money market account. ‘Why I am’ and being and doing something about it – isn’t ‘redeemable’ with web coupons in The World To Come, Heaven etc
Why I Am, at best, yields meaning IN this life but not the meaning OF life.
Thus, bortzing (complaining) about ‘what next, making a difference’ recycles to More and it’s ‘if onlys’. And so, meaning In one’s life, making a difference and what next get ‘the short shrift shift’ back to more & palliation.
- Man’s #1 fear latter in life (after the cumbaya bs is scraped away off the surface) is outliving his ‘money’ and therefore being beholden and dependent additionally at the potential expense of his principles and taking crap. His number two concern is meaning/legacy – though not at the expense of #1 which is why man fears the IRS (even more so under Obama than God)
- Enough (see ENOUGH and or blog healingfinancialanxiety.blogspot.com) is counter cultural be it capitalism, communism and self deluding socialism as all the former are just about how the material pie is split.