Friday, April 8, 2016

Dogs & Cats: A Deductible Medical & or Charitable Expense?

            Until we get a flat, flatter, or consumption tax to replace the income tax, our dogs should be a deductible medical expense subject to the amount over the 7.5% and 10% adjusted gross income thresholds given:
·         AIG study/commercial having a dog increases our longevity 7 years (can you say that for your resentful college graduate now living in basement still requiring you doing his or her laundry while hearing how stupid your are?)
·         Study after study has proven dogs reduce blood pressure (especially on Wall Street – Dr. Karen Allen, University of Buffalo)
·         Having dogs around babies lowers the future probabilities of allergies
·         Gazing, staring at, loving on our dogs increases Oxytocin (the love, happiness hormone). The only thing that one’s resentful unemployed college student stares at gazes at is his or her Smart(dumb?)phone increasing the agitation hormone.
·         Dogs are cheaper (and more effective) than shrinks and others in the psychobabbaltariat whose fees are deductible medical expenses – and not evidence based for remuneration - unlike the cost/benefit of having dog(s) & cats)
·         19% of senior citizens are now estimated to be orphans (no family). The companionship of dogs and cats reduce needed psychological costs and are cheaper than Visiting Angels.

L’chaim (to life)
Judaic thought

Thus our companion animals are good for our health and they are good for spiritual lives.

Look into your dogs eyes (with or without treat in hand). I know I see God – I know there is God. (Ok, a little Challah or biscuit in hand makes one almost godly – but that apart – tell me a smile doesn’t come to your face, and thoughts of Hillary Clinton or Debby Wasserman Schultz don’t vanish from your mind?) And when the poop hits the fan, who is there by your side (saving your kosher bacon if necessary), regardless – even sans Challah in your hand – dog – God’s emissary to man since being Abel’s watchman and even Cain’s protector when banished.

In most of the proposed tax plans, kept intact is the deduction for one’s primary mortgage and charitable giving. Given, dogs are good for the soul, even with elimination of the medical deduction, expenditures on our dogs should be considered a charitable deduction – not competing with established religions but in many cases more effective. We spend more time on poop than in the pew. (And sarcasms aside, I am the Jew I am because of the dogs that know, have known, and will know me again.)

Cats? Well, they should be CATegorized as qualifying business expenditures (rather than medical or charitable deductions) as while dogs think we are godly, cats think we are servants. So cats are a costs of goods and an administrative expense though without matching FICA (social security contribution) requirements.

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